I used to be addicted to you
relapsing over and over
until I decided to be strong
I took big sips
of black coffee
stronger than
your intoxicating presence
and I detoxed
until you were out of my bloodstream
and out of my head
as time went by
I felt lighter and free
better without you
better with me
then I prepared myself
to be trapped in your
intoxicating presence
so many things to say
yet nothing to say at all
I saw you
and avoided your eyes
because I thought if I saw them
I’d fall in
face first
stormy grey into golden blue
you had so many things to say
yet nothing to say at all
I am numb
nothing you say can hurt me
you’ve already broken my heart
once
twice
too many times to count
so I took big brave gulps of
coffee darker than my thoughts
and I looked into your eyes
searching for feelings
that I used to have
stormy grey on blue and gold
and I feel nothing
